Commence and persist order

I've been informed by my lawyer friend Steve72 that I am violating the terms of our contract. I didn't know he and I even had a contract, mostly because we don't. But it's so endearing when he plays Esquire for Hire on Fire that I'm going to play along. Plus, he's a black belt, so I basically have to humor him. (Please don't tell him I have said any of this.)

Read his comment on my previous post to see what I have done wrong: I have ignored him and venerated Letmbleed. I should have known this would not fly. So now I have to say wonderful things about Steve72 to even things out and repair the hole in the time-space continuum. Here is a purely stream-of-consciousness set of observations about the goodness that is Steve. For one thing, he and his wife now have enough sons to launch their own The Jonas Brothers. The youngest son is only a couple months old, so I'm thinking they should wait at least year or two before putting a tiara on him.

Oh wait, those are the beauty pageant parents. Well, he is a very nice looking kid. And that's another good thing about Steve: He really knows how to pick a wife. I haven't even met her yet, but she obviously has the patience of a saint, and judging from pictures I've seen of their aforementionedly comely kids compared to the in-person moobs I have seen on Steve, she's a looker.

Steve also works in a great city, known as Philadelphia. I grew up right outside of Philadelphia and went there numerous times in high school to see concerts at the Tower Theater and the Spectrum. One thing I DON'T like about Steve, though, is that Pennsylvania is a self-service gas station state. In New Jersey, where I grew up, you are not allowed to pump your own gas (union thing), so when my giggly friends and I went to see The Kinks one night and needed gas to get home, we waited for about 15 minutes at the pump before realizing it was self-serve. I never forgave Steve for that.

In addition to being a fellow grappler (a better one than me), Steve is also a fellow CrossFit aficionado. He has a garage gym where he puts himself through the Murph and the Helen, and he's so committed that he will use absolutely anything at his disposal to get his workout in. Even if "absolutely anything" = "numerous beers, a tree branch, and a nearby son" to get himself through the Fran. I know there is a youtube video of one time when he did just this, but I can't find it. Suffice it to say that Steve applied himself equally to the pullups, the thrusters, and the beers. It was probably the first time anyone ever had cause to say, "Hey, your thruster bar is wetting its pants."

As you can see, there are many things to love about Steve72. These are just a few that I literally pulled out of my ass because I don't want to be sued, not even in pretend. If I remember correctly, he will be in San Diego next weekend, which may mean that I'll have to see him and act like I really believe the things I just said. Well, I do believe that he has moobs. There is photographic evidence of that. For the other things I'll just have to rely on my acting ability. I wish I had some. (My singing sound really good in the shower--does that count?)