Ugh. Sick.

It's that feverish kind of sick, too, with a headache, sore throat, and chest cough. So naturally I'm sitting at the academy waiting to train. I am a moron.

Dog days of not-even-May-yet

One of many things that makes me weird is that I don't really like summertime. I tend to get depressed during it. Maybe it's because when things get hot they slow down so I have more time to contemplate. Or I guess you could hypothesize that my birthday depresses me (I'll be 38 on July 15), but that doesn't really hold water because I feel like life gets better the older I get and the more I learn about myself and my preferences.

My own theory is the New Year's Eve theory. Just like with celebrating New Year's Eve, summer is supposed to be reallyreallyreallyreally fun. Everyone says so. You're expected to have a non-stop blast for the entire 3 months. That's a lot of pressure for me. Always has been. And my summers have rarely lived up to the hype.

Fortunately, ever since I went on my journey, I haven't gotten full-on depressed in the summers. The summer of 2006 was challenging because I was learning to be the new me, but I had a great time with the likes of my friends Darin & Linh, Lacey, Tanna & Mark, Danielle & Jon, and Jon & Alison. The summer of 2007 was surreal because I was preparing for the World Grappling Games competition in Turkey. I was in an intense, surreal place, but certainly not a depressed one.

Now that it's getting summer-hot around here (90s over the weekend), I'm starting to fret a little bit that I'll get depressed. I have two fun summers under my belt and want to keep the streak going, but the depressed streak before that is a bit longer, so I don't trust that I'm in a different place. Keep your fingers crossed. And I won't go looking for trouble where it doesn't yet exist.

In other news, I laughed about the comment from Anonymous about my weight. Anonymous always has some admonishment for me about one thing or another. I don't WANT to cut weight, nor am I good at it. But I also don't want to have to fight the big girls. I've done it before, and it's not fun. It's smushy and hot. But again, I'll worry about that when it's time to worry about that.

Whoa. A little extra junk in the trunk. And watch for me on Fox!

So in the recent past I have packed on about 5 pounds. I've gone from 145 to a buck-fifty. And my pants are fitting a little differently. More tightly. So, since I have all those weight/body image issues I've shared TMI about with all of you, I had Andy do a body fat percentage check on me today. Turns out it's exactly the same as it was about 6 months ago: 15.5%. Andy said that's a percentage elite female athletes would kill to have--and as you might recall, it wrought some havoc on my health. But I'm all about eating fats these days, so everything's working the way it should.

TMI?

Anyway, so now my ass and quads are more solid and muscular than they were before, as are my arms. The Brazos at the academy keep asking me where I stash my steroids. (Haha. Ugh.)

This newfound junk in the trunk does raise some interesting issues. First, of course there's always the issue of me freaking out about my body. That's old news and I won't bore myself or anybody else with a discussion of it. But second, the fact that I'm walking at 150 may have interesting implications for my competition plans. Many of the middleweight divisions cut off at 147 for no-gi and 152 for gi. And many of the middleweight divisions are the last cut-off before the "and up" division. So if I don't want to have to be prepared to fight women who could outweigh me by many many pounds, I might have to--say it with me--cut weight.

This does not bode well for a woman who considers "no dessert" to be a hardship.

Of course, all of this is moot if I decide I'm still taking a break from competing. But just because I have to muck things up, I am thinking about ending my self-imposed hiatus. I am, to use the technical term, a "jackass." I don't know why I can't just enjoy not competing, especially because I don't really enjoy competing. I can only conclude I have some unfinished business where that's concerned. I mean, I started competing so much because I knew it would make my grappling better, sure, but the deeper life-lesson reason is that I was afraid of it and didn't want to be. And I'm not anymore. But there must be something else for me to get out of competing if I can't just let it go. Stay tuned as I figure it out.

In other news, watch for me on Fox's LA morning show in May! As one of the guys put it, it's the show with the two hot chicks and the funny older guy. A camera crew came to Petranek Fitness today to do a segment on the gym, and I was part of the "talent." We set up some stations and did a modification of the Fight Gone Bad workout. Of course I saw out of the corner of my eye that the camera guy got a tight shot of me doing kettlebell snatches, which were accompanied by strange guttural noises and, I'm sure, horrific facial expressions. Well, it was fun anyway, and I'll post here when to watch for the segment! Cool.

The significance of small (and female) things

Remember I said I was going to take a picture of my stripes, the ones that fell off and that I had tied back on? Well, here are two of them. I know it may seem weird to hang onto two pieces of athletic tape, but I worked hard to earn that tape! Ouano got tired of me running around finding the pieces after a roll, so he pulled them off my belt and gave me brand new tape. The ones pictured here are probably going to get thrown out accidentally, but at least I have immortalized them digitally.

I keep meaning to write about my impressions of the PanAms. I haven't for a couple reasons. First, there are many people who have written about it far better and in a more timely fashion than I could. Second, I'm lazylazylazy. Third, the farther it gets from the actual event, the fewer details I remember. But I did want to say a couple things:

1. The CBJJ trotted out the 3-referee system for the black belt finals matches, a system Alvaro Mansor (the godfather of all things reffy for the CBJJ) discussed when I took the ref certification back in the fall of 2006. One ref is on the mat mediating the action as usual, but there are also two other refs sitting in opposite corners watching as well. It's sort of a majority rules situation. For instance, if the standing ref makes a call and another ref disagrees, that ref stands up. If the third ref agrees with the second ref, he stands up too, and the standing ref waves off the call. If the third ref agrees with the first ref, he stays seated, and the call stands.

If the three refs have three different opinions, then they split the difference. So ref 1 gives 4 points for a mount. Ref 2 stands up, indicating he disagrees and would give nothing. Ref 3 stands up and makes the signal for "advantage." In this case, the call would be modified to give an advantage for almost mount.

I am missing many finer points and may be slightly off-base, but the general premise is to have three minds working on the situation rather than just one, the idea being that that will make the reffing fairer and more accurate. I'll be interested to see how well the CBJJ is able to implement this system in the future.

2. The women's divisions were REALLY exciting, particularly the open final between Luka Diaz and Michelle Nicolini (Luka won on points, but not before Michelle took it to her and almost snatched the victory in the final seconds) and the middleweight brown/black division featuring Emily Kwok, Hannette Staack, and Ana Laura Cordeiro (Ana Laura beat Hannette on points in the final after fighting off a ridiculously tight kneebar). There is some serious female talent in BJJ, and to a point I made during my Fightworks Podcast interview, I hope seeing that caliber of tournament performance will make men reconsider any hesitations they may have about training with women. My hat is off to all of them!

(And yes, watching those divisions and aspiring to be as good as the women I saw is a big part of what has made me twitchy about competing again. We'll see how that plays itself out in the coming weeks, when there are tournaments every weekend, practically.)

Pic with Alex, a new Fightworks Podcast, and Ouano: The Bitchmaker

Thanks for the comments about why competitors hit themselves before they fight. Makes sense--to get the blood flowing, to prep the body for taking blows, to look tough. And I completely forgot about how guys will also stretch their mouths, but they definitely do it! Haha.

So when I compete, maybe I should try to triangle myself, to prep my body for what it might feel like. That sounds defeatist, I know, but hey, anything for the funny.

It was a good weekend. On Saturday during the open mat, Ouano showed me, Henri, Steve, and Paul a technique for taking the back from open/butterfly guard that some of his students in the Philippines call "The Bitchmaker." I love this technique and am going to try it tonight.

Then in the evening, I watched the UFC with some CrossFit/Petranek Fitness folk. One of the guys knows the owner and/or manager of a bar in Santa Monica, so we got the VIP treatment, complete with a buffet containing at least 4 kinds of chicken. That's my kind of treatment.

Good fights, though after the Franklin/Lutter bout, I suggested to Andy that he send them both his business card (they were gassing HARD by the end). He just got a disgusted look on his face. I love armchair quarterbacking!

And oh, the GSP/Serra fight. One of the ladies in our group was waxing eloquent about GSP's monstrous quads--to her boyfriend. He really didn't protest too much. We were taking bets on how many of Serra's ribs GSP had broken by the end of the night. After the native Montreal-ian GSP's performance, I repeated ad nauseam how Canada is now my favorite state--after Mexico. (I am a jackass.)

Sunday was the Copa Pacifica--Cleber Luciano's tournament--in Garden Grove. There were some good fights, including a real barn-burner between Chuy (a Cleber BB), and Chris Haueter, who Jimmy and I figured out has been a black belt (under Rigan) since before either of us even started training. It was a great fight, with lots of impressive exchanges and transitions, that went into OT. Chris finally won with a beautiful takedown. Chris then went on to beat Johnny by a point by passing his guard--no small feat, as Johnny has an unbelievable guard. As it was, it took him about 5 minutes to do so. Johnny swept back, but it wasn't enough. Congrats to Chris on both counts!

Other notable fights: Rodrigo, aka Mike Tyson, a Brasa black belt who is training with us at New Breed, beat Paulo Guilobel on many points (after Guilobel beat Fred Sabatini by arm bar, I believe). As some of the ladies were saying, if you beat somebody who is as good AND as hot as Guilobel, you are doing something right. And I get to train with Rodrigo regularly. Congrats to him!

Also some good brown belt matches. The women's division was on Saturday, so I missed it, but only two purples fought, both of whom I have competed against before.

I ran into Alex Brandao, the ref who took my back at the tourney Jimmy competed in a couple weeks ago. He said again that I'm pretty good at this grappling stuff, and so I am planning to go visit him at Fabio Santos' academy in San Diego. Here's a picture of us!

My face looks really smushed for some reason. Not the best look for me. Well, what can you do?

I forgot to mention that a couple shows back, the Fightworks Podcast featured another great female grappler: Luka Diaz, a 45-year-old black belt who just won her weight class and the open division at the Pan Ams in March! This podcast also features Jason Townsend, who was one of my coaches for the World Grappling Games competition in Turkey. I love Jason! Qualifier season for the next World Team Trials is starting next month, so I'm hoping to see Jason again soon. Check out the podcast! http://thefightworkspodcast.com/2008/04/13/112

Training my (sizeable) keister off

Okay, not off. It will never be trained off. But I'm training a lot lately. Thurs eve I meant to train lightly and ended up rolling hard for about 2 hours (and that was after the morning class too) with Ouano, Marcel, and Mike Tyson (Brasa black belt named Rodrigo who looks like MT). At one point while rolling with Mike, my body just wouldn't move anymore. It wasn't a matter of my brain saying, "Stop." It was like the synapses stopped firing.

And then I got up and did it again yesterday.

And am going to train in a minute here too.

I love it!

Random question: I was watching a UFC Fight Night (not to be confused with UFC 10000000, which is tonight and features GSP vs. Serra rematch), and wondered why guys smack themselves--in the face, on the body, etc--before they fight. I was trying to remember my pre-fight routine, after I have stepped onto the mat but before the action begins, and it mostly revolves around trying not to crap myself. Then I realized maybe I do roll my head and shake out my arms a little to make sure everything is working. But what's with the smacking? Is it primal, or is it actually useful re: getting blood flowing, etc?

More dumb questions later.

The end of an era

I came to class last night and there were three folding chairs where the ratty blue couch usually is. Lili told me they finally trashed the ratty blue couch. I actually got a lump in my throat when I heard that, first because that's the ratty blue couch I slept on when I stayed at New Breed, and second because that's the ratty blue couch I slept on when I stayed at New Breed! And if it was disgusting enough for them to get rid of, it wasn't that much LESS disgusting when I was sleeping on it. So I'm partly sad it's gone because it's got sentimental value, and I'm partly sad it's gone because I am contaminated.

Gotta go shower/fumigate ASAP. I hope I don't start sprouting flippers or something.

In other news, I'm starting to get twitchy about competing. I don't WANT to compete, but I'm feeling compelled to at least prepare to compete. The Mundial (world gi tourney) is the first weekend in June, and there is at least one tourney every weekend--gi and no gi--around here for the foreseeable future. It's tourney season. So I've decided to train as if I'm going to compete and then as tourneys happen, I'll decide whether to actually jump into them.

The one thing I'm wondering at this point is: What the hell is wrong with me? I ranted and raved about how I don't want to do it anymore and that I'm burned out. So of course now I'm all twitchy and want to do it. I am the definition of jackass.

Competing may also be a challenge for me because I have packed on about 4 pounds recently. I'm hoping those pounds are muscle I've gained from CrossFitting up a storm, and judging from the size of my quads and my arms, they probably are. I'm going to get a body fat percentage test anyway to make sure. But the point is, now I'm hovering around 149, and many of these tourneys have 147 and under as a weight class for women's no-gi and 152 and under as a weight class for women's gi. And then if you're above those, you are in the "and up" category.

You don't want to be in the "and up" category. Just trust me on this.

So this means I would have to consider, dare I say it, cutting some weight. Not even very much, maybe 5 pounds. But that sounds like a huge hurdle for someone who speaks the word "dessert" in hushed, reverent tones. More to come on that as I continue to demonstrate my insanity.

Congrats to the Triangle Kid! And check out Combat Wire!

Last night Kuan "The Triangle Kid" Huang was awarded his brown belt by his instructor, Mark Vives, himself a brown belt under Johnny and John. (He runs the Skokie branch of New Breed.) Kuan is one of those BJJ players who was born to do this stuff, and his promotion is much-deserved. Congrats, Kuan!

Also, check out Combat Wire, a Chicago public TV show about Chicago's MMA scene. The next (maybe first) episode features Mark showing the guillotine, a defense from the back, and a cool flying omoplata for the promo. All on Danny, unfortunately for Danny. Very cool that the New Breed Chicago guys are getting some publicity! They have a great academy and lots of very talented students.

http://cltv.trb.com/extras/cltv/combatwire/

New technique on Ouano.com

Watch one of my teachers, Marcel Louzado, show a way to take the back from half guard. Marcel's training dummy is my pal Vince. If it's a day that ends in "day," chances are that Vince will threaten to punch me in the face when I walk in the door of New Breed. And chances are that I will say, "Promises, promises."

Similarly, things aren't quite right at the academy unless Marcel is making funny faces at me. I can't really describe them, but maybe I'll get Mike, the Ouano webmaster and videographer, to do some outtakes. Meantime, watch this cool technique!

http://ouano.com/news/?p=16

Another reason I think I'm hilarious. Or a jackass. Take your pick.

On the Saturday night of the PanAms, a bunch of us went out for dinner: the Linzys; Andrew, the newly crowned gold medalist in the senior brown belt middleweight (CONGRATS); Tommy, JB, Devin, me, and maybe that's it.

Devin, who is all of 17, showed us a picture of his great-granny, who is about 86, but still looks spry and clear-headed. He told a cute story about how his great-granny fogged down an entire banana split, but then when she got to the last bite, she said she was full and put her spoon down. Devin tried to convince her to finish up, but she said no. He said, "Isn't that cute?"

I said, "So she's a quitter."

Like I said, take your pick.

Congratulations, Jimmy! And happy birthday, Turkey Sandwich!

Yesterday I went to Costa Mesa, to Joe Moreira's academy to cheer on my pal Jimmy, who had a no-gi superfight against someone the announcer kept calling Anderson Silva (it wasn't Anderson Silva). Well, Jimmy displayed some textbook grappling, from maintaining excellent base while in half guard, to passing directly to mount in a move he promised to show me next week, to setting up and executing a perfect triangle choke that he started in the mount and ended up finishing from the guard. The whole match lasted about 3 minutes, and I only got one chance to do my job of yelling out points so he knew whether he was up or down.

Congratulations, Jimmy! As someone who has been on the other side of your great balance, ridiculous hook feet, and explosiveness-when-necessary, I know how irritated your opponent must have been when you completely shut him down. HOORAY FOR JIMMY!

I also got to see Felicia, Cindy, Jason, and Scott, DeWitt who just got his black belt from Jean-Jacques. I haven't seen him that smiley since, well, ever! Congrats to Scott!

I have to admit, though, that the best part for me was when Alex, a fixture at CBJJ tournaments as a well-respected referee, who was there to referee this event, snuck up behind me and engaged me in an impromptu roll while we were warming Jimmy up. Some of the refs at CBJJ events compete, but many of them don't, so we don't get to see their expertise up close. That changed for me yesterday! Alex took my back and if he had decided not to let me move, I wouldn't have gone ANYWHERE. I was completely tickled when he told someone who was watching that I am very good, and then he stood up, composed himself (he was wearing a dress shirt and tie, God love him), and strode off to ref the matches.

In other news, happy birthday to Turkey Sandwich, aka Chris Romanchick! He is a ripe old 24 now, and is one of my pals at Balance Studios in Philly. He, as you might recall, is the one who introduced me to the pleasures of hating hipsters. I am proud to say that I am a good influence on him even though he is very young; on his myspace page, you can see a picture of me from New Year's Eve, where after 3 or 4 glasses of wine I thought it was a good idea to try to d'arce him. From the back. I'm a good role model for the kids. Have a great day, Chris!

That's one way to measure progress

Some of you may recall that over a year ago I took the three stripes off my purple belt, to the consternation and disapproval of many. But I truly felt it was the right thing to do, and that Carlson Sr would have supported it. I don't know if I ever reported that some months back Johnny and John gave them back to me. So I went from being a 3-stripe purple, to a no-stripe purple, back to a 3-stripe purple.

Over time, the more recent stripes, which are made of athletic tape, have curled up, turned blackish, and fallen off, as they are completely devoid of any stickiness anymore, ostensibly because I train a lot. I kept tying them back on for a while because I didn't want to lose them, but finally Ouano got sick of watching me hunt for them after a roll, and put new ones on. But I still can't bring myself to get rid of the old ones, so I keep them, gross pieces of trash that anyone else might think they are. I'll take a picture of them and post it here.

It's the same with my purple belt. It is too long for me and it doesn't actually have a designated place for stripes. But Carlson Sr. tied it on me himself, so there's no way I'm ever wearing a different one. (I have a backup one, but that's just for contingencies.) Such is my life lately. As trite as it sounds, the only material possessions I really care about are the ones with sentimental value. (This is obvious from my fashion sense, or lack thereof.)

Exciting weekend coming up. Training tomorrow per usual, and then on Saturday it's open mat, the grand opening of a gear shop that some of my teammates are working at (featuring visits from Leo Vieira and Dan Henderson), and in the evening a Brazil vs. USA black belt challenge. Should be good times.

Petranek Fitness in the press

Petranek Fitness is going to be featured in the next issue of Muscle and Fitness. I probably know all or most of the people in the photo shoot and the video. Andy, Stanwyck, Traver, etc. Check it out! And get the issue of Muscle and Fitness!
http://www.petranekfitness.com/cms/index.php/workouts/comments/muscle_fitness_the_filthy_fifty_video_photo_shoot/

Amen

It's over. The fat lady has sung. 3 days of hard bleachers, Brazilian food, relatively little sleep, dozens of my "best friends," and some amazing grappling. The standout of the tournament was Kron Gracie, who swept his weight class and the brown belt open by tapping every single one of his opponents. To give you some perspective, a brown belt match usually lasts 8 minutes if it goes the distance.

His longest match was 29 seconds.

(And he was rockin' a sweet porn mustache and Caesar haircut to boot.)

His dad, Rickson, was matside the entire time, and it was cool to see them hug each other after every win.

Some other highlights:

-Rafael Lovato, Jr, upsetting Roberto "Tussa" Camargo in the finals of the heavyweight division by fending off Tussa's triangle choke for 3 and a half minutes before passing his guard and taking his back in the last 10 seconds of the match.

-Ana Laura Cordeiro winning the women's brown/black belt middleweight division by refusing to tap in the final to a TIGHT Hannette Staack kneebar before escaping and defeating her on points.

-Roberto Tozzi defeating the likes of Lovato on his way to a finals loss to Galvao in the men's black belt open.

-The HUGE contingent Alliance BJJ (under Romero "Jacare" Cavalcanti) brought to the tournament, which included Chris Moriarty (who won his brown belt weight division), Rubens Charles "Cobrinha" Maciel (who won his black belt weight division), and Team Brasa (Jacare is Leo Vieira's instructor).

I jotted some notes that I'll work into a full-blown post. I was remiss in the pictures department, though. Didn't take a single one, even though I had a chance to add two Ribeiros, a Godoi, and a Camarillo, among many others, to my collection. I guess I just feel weird anymore going up to complete strangers and asking them for pictures. If I have interacted with them in some way, like taken a seminar or something, that's different. So, suffice it to say that there was some crazy good star-spotting to be done.

I always have trouble answering the question, "So, how was the tournament?" Holy crap. That's why I have to write about it. I'll try to capture some of the good and not so good.

I also don't really know how I feel about not competing this time, which is another thing people asked me. I was prickly when the question kept getting posed, but I'm also thinking maybe I'm antsy to try again. We'll see. Never say never.

Right now, I'm just glad to be back to a normal workout schedule and eating habits. I swear, eating too many carbs makes me sweat unbelievably.

I'll leave you with that thought picture.