Yet more evidence that my love of BJJ is akin to getting me to a nunnery
Actual discussion among me, Joey and Art today at the academy, started by Art's observation that some women who come to watch the UFC there (Ouano always orders it) seem reserved or uncomfortable:
Me: Well, it's intimidating to come into a huge group of dudes that you don't know.
Art: Really? I thought we were just kind of hanging out, not being intimidating.
Me: Trust me. It's hard. The entire grappling thing is intimidating for a woman. For anybody, really.
Joey: And think about it: Imagine being a woman and coming into a place where all these guys are trying to hit on you.
Me: I'm not even getting hit on and it can be intimidating. (Note, I wasn't saying that petulantly. I was just making an observation.)
Art: Well, look at your belt.
Me: What do you mean?
Joey: Seriously. No guy is going to hit on you if you are a higher rank, because that means you can kick his ass. (Art and Joey are blue belts).
Me: Really? So am I right in assuming that any guy I date who trains would have to outrank me?
Art and Joey: YES.
Art: What about dating guys who don't train?
Me: Sometimes it's easier, because there's no competition.
Joey: Sure, but would you like to be a guy who knows that his girlfriend spends most of her time rolling around with sweaty guys, ALL of whom could kick his ass?
Art: NO WAY.
Great. Just great.
posted by Valerie @ 4:50 PM
5 Comments:
FIRST OFF I WISH I HAD THE MONEY TO TRAIN FULL TIME , 2ND I WISH I HAD A REAL SCHOOL TO LEARN, 3RD YOU MAY HAVE A HIGHER RANK BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING ... THAT MEANS I CAN ROLL WHEN WE GET HOME... PLUS I ROLL FOR MMA... SOO ITS A DIFFERENT WORLD... BUT YOUR NOT GOING TO BE A NUN AND GUYS WHO PASS U UP ARE DUMB!
LUIS
MR. OMO PLATA
MYSPACE.COM/FIGGYFBABY
I am new to BJJ and also to the single world but will say, I am more comfortable on the mat no-gi than out on a Friday night fully clothed! I have found nothing but mutual respect - we are all there to learn.
*Flashes brown belt*
Hey....How YOU doin?
No worries :)
Take a vacation in Brazil :P Plenty of higher-ranks there!
What do women want? To be treated as one of the guys, replete with frank discussions about the other women, or to be treated as a woman?
We have a new white belt female at our academy. She's not body shy (not afraid to use pressure in side control etc.), she's strong and aggressive. Soon she will be tapping the smaller males, which will lead to horrible jibing in the locker room. Until the larger males get threatened with tapping. Then we will all shun her.
Just kidding. We will never shun her. But I don't think we'll ever have any sexual harassment issues either.
Let's face it. There are oceans of women at discos and night clubs and bars. There are very few in BJJ. We don't want to lose the ones we have.
If your classmates aren't acknowledging you as a "woman" (other than "eww" comments about menstrual issues), you can:
Go shopping at Safeway on date night;
Visit a disco, nightclub, or bar;
Sign up for Match.com; or
Join a gym that got a better "flirt factor" than that Marine Corp prep academy you call a gym.
In the meantime love your teammates as your teammates. And be grateful they are as gender neutral as they are.
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